The other day I was looking at a YouTube video, while pondering if I should delete my Social media accounts or not. I was on the verge of doing so, when i heard something that startled me and made me think. The guy being interviewed in the video quoted a man by the name of Thomas Cooley, that deals about human perception. The quote is:
"I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am." ~ Thomas Cooley
When I tell you this quote had me messed up for a few days I tell you no lies. The message I took from the quote is that we spend so much time trying to be what we feel others expect us to be, that we aren't even certain who we really are.
Here's an example. I enjoy photography, yes I do, but I don't wish to be a professional photographer or make a living from it because others tell me how good I am at it. Photography is a skill, like carpentry, or painting. I know these are three different things but in reality I may be good at one, but not so at the others. While others may be great at painting but shit as a photographer.
The man in the video further elaborates on this and how all of this occurs to begin with. Our parents at a young age, begin pushing us in the direction they want for us to go. Therefore growing up, you want to make mom and dad proud and honor their efforts for leading you down this path. However, once you become an adult and are out from beneath your parents wings, you soon realize that you may not want to do any of the shit you've been doing all these years. The shit that often times will make your parents very happy.
Another example, I curse...A lot actually. But in around my parents, in public, at work, or social environments you will rarely hear me use profanity. However, those closest to me hear it all the time and thus while with me in those other environments they are the first to point out if I'm being a fraud or not. One thing that makes me upset about others is a weakness that I deal with internally, and that is the ability to live in my truth.
Truth is at 36 I can't say I've seen one thing professionally that makes me say in 5-10 years that is what I want to do. Hence why most days I come to work and spend the greater portion of it wasting time or doing what I am now "blogging this blog." I see it in others, that they are chasing something here and that's great for them, but for me that hasn't happened yet.
The guy in the video then touched on another great point, where he says, "If you don't see something or someone on the path to where you wish to be in 5-10 years, you're on the wrong path. Change your circle until you find someone or something that inspires you to go down that path. Everyone wants the rewards but no one wants to put in the effort."
People say it all the time, if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. But, how many people does this apply to? How many of us are where we are currently because of the money, or the titles associated with our roles? How many of us throw our career out there as if that's who we are?
I'm an engineer by profession and yes when in social groups and I say I am an engineer the praise is wonderful. But if I were to say I was a barber would I receive the same praise, probably not. Even if I loved being a barber much more than I ever loved being an engineer. Success is often attached to the reward and not the experience. We as a society need to learn this and appreciate those who are doing what they love the most, more than those who have the titles we admire most.
So who am I? I am Ronald Milline, son of two loving parents, big brother of 1, husband to my beautiful bride, and father.
Engineer by choice, empathetic listener by nature, adviser to those seeking it, and friend of all. But, most importantly my purpose is to make people smile, uplift them, make them think, and help us all find a better way to enjoy this loving place we call home through speaking truthfully, showing humility, and being myself at all times.